Is there one good way to find gay men that are interested in romance? Unfortunately, there is no holding tank for gay men waiting to be paired up nor is there a magic bullet to finding your personal homo hero. But never fret- there are many good places to find gay men willing to date. Here are the top four:
4. Online Chat Rooms/Dating Sites
Are chat rooms and dating sites about sex or about love? Well, it’s actually a little bit of both. Most chat rooms and dating sites leave it up to the seeker to let the general room population know if they are looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. Clearly state what type of man you are looking for and under what circumstances you are willing to meet. See our article ”Safety Tips for Online Dating” on Gay Matters.
3. Bar / Dance Club/ Lounge
There are just as many gay men that don’t like going to gay clubs as there are that live for a weekend of dancing and/or drinking. Either way, the club or the bar can still be a great place to meet men. Couch potatoes shouldn’t feel left out though, smaller and less intimidating lounges can also be a great venue for gay men of all types. here’s also many singing and piano bars in every major city; these places typically host fun and social men. And of course, if you can get past the blatant displays of testosterone, believe it or not ”heterosexual” clubs are also a good source. Many gay men go to straight clubs with their heterosexual friends and are often easy to spot. Basically, it’s all about getting out there, meeting new and interesting people. If you don’t find Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, would it hell-if-you to meet a new friend?
2. Everyday Life
Despite what children’s fairy tales expect us to believe, there is no such thing as a knight in shining armor or a prince on a white horse showing up at your door to save the day, no Richard Gere in a limosine and no king to wake you out of your sleep with True Love’s First Kiss. Of course, it is possible for you to secure a date with the UPS man, but the likelihood of that happening is quite slim, too. However, the tales that aren’t a lie are the ones about meeting the man of your dreams at the grocery store or the record store or the coffee shop or the car wash or the park. The list is endless.
Gay men do the same activities and need to run the same errands as everyone else and the odds of running into one that catches your eye is better than sitting at home alone. This method is especially effective for gay men living in small town. More than likely you will run into another gay man at some point around town. Of course, once you make contact the next step is up to you.
1. Referrals from Friends & Family
Referrals from friends, co-workers or family are hands down the best way to meet a guy. Whether its a blind date or an actual informal introduction arranged by a friend, meeting new people can be fun and interesting. Usually these begin with the standard, “I know this cute guy…” or “My friend Bob is gay, maybe you know him?…” and end with “…you guys should meet…”
Even if you are shy or don’t quite mesh with the “referral,” take solace in the fact that they have other gay friends. If you meet and it works out- great! If not, befriend them and network. Expanding your circle of gay friends can only lead to possibilities for romance.
Friends not beating down your door with referrals? Then ask them if they know of anyone. You’ll be amazed at how many times you’ll hear, “Now that you mention it, I do know a…”
Finding a Man
Despite these very effective places to meet gay men, it is important that you get out and meet people. That will always remain the best method to finding a man. If you are shy, take your time and ease your way onto the scene. Taking an acting class might also be just the trick to get you out of your shyness syndrome.
Like Dr. Jackwith told Bette David in “Now Voyager” – “…be interested in everyone and everything; take part…”
