Safety Tips for Online Dating

Q:  Did you just meet someone online?  Well, as you know there are tons and tons of online dates sites.  And there are tons and tons of people joining the sites, which means there are tons and tons of people looking for love. Your chances of finding that special someone should be easy then, right?  Well, yes - but when it comes to online dating, there are things you can do to increase your chances of finding the right person and there are things you can do wrong.  Online dating is great in many ways because it allows you to search for someone who meets your criteria and you don’t have to feel pressured to reject someone in person.  Just remember to treat someone – online or in person – the way you’d like to be treated.  If you’re looking for a date, then say so.  There are so many gay websites that are strictly for hook-ups and that’s fine, but if something long-term is what you’re looking for…say it.  There’s also nothing more annoying than reading a profile with no picture, no current (and correct) age and not a word about who he is.  This should speak volumes to you !

Get To Know Him First

Take time to get to know them.  Ask as many detailed questions as possible before committing to meet.  Sometimes the person on the other end of the computer may not be who they say they are.  Watch for inconsistencies or strange behaviors.  If you see any warning signs or just have a bad feeling about the situation, trust your instinct and stop chatting; there’s a reason why your gut is talking to you.  Trust your better judgement despite any persistence he may give to meet.  You can tell a lot about a person by the way they communicate.  Does something about the conversation make you uncomfortable?  Do you have a bad feeling? Before meeting in person, listen carefully during video chat sessions and phone conversation.

Online Behaviors

Unless a guy works the midnight shift, is an insomniac or in a completely different time zone than you, there’s really no reason you should be getting emails from him at 3:20 a.m.  I think we’ve all encountered someone with a substance abuse problem.  Just be aware of small signs like these.

Protect Your Identity and Personal Information

Never disclose personal information with a stranger online. It’s not necessary to use a fake name, but be weary of giving out your address, place of work, or any other sensitive information.

Leave a Trail

Stay on the side of caution by leaving a note at home detailing where you’re traveling to or by texting a good friend with the progress of your date and your exact locations. This may seem cumbersome, but your safety is well worth a few seconds of time should something go wrong.

No Pic? = No Meet!

No photo, no date. That’s a good rule to live by in online dating. Ask him to email pictures other than the ones in his profile. Get as many details about the picture as possible, including the dates they was taken. Save the picture in an accessible folder on your computer.
See his face or hear his voice.

Meet in a public place

Meet in a relaxed, but public place with many people around as possible. Try a busy restaurant or cafe. Avoid meeting at his home or in dark, hidden places.  If you decide to meet a man from online chatting, meet in a public place, but it’s smart to write down his name, phone number, the address you’re meeting at and screen name on a piece of paper on your bed, near the phone – where it can be easily seen.

Ask About His Sexual History

The best way to protect your body is to know the status of your sexual partner.  Remember HIV, Syphilis & Gonorrhea are still alive and well !  Not everyone tells the truth about their HIV status.  Actually, studies have shown that men, in particular, lie about their STD status.  Warning signs are refusal to answer questions about their status, ambiguity about the date of their last STD tests, ambiguity about the number of partners they’ve been with, and willingness to have sex without a condom among others.  Asking if he’s “clean” is not enough.  Protect yourself by assuming your partner is positive until proven otherwise.  There are so many men who say the “One Time !” that they had condomless sex led to their HIV.