Sounds silly doesn’t it? As if it’s difficult to get a drink at a gay bar? A: Yes – Ordering a drink at a gay bar can be quite a challenge at times. Many gay bars are in big cities, are always crowded, and usually understaffed.
You’ve seen clueless-looking guys standing around for 20 minutes waiting for a drink, and the bartender hadn’t even noticed them yet. But if you carry yourself properly, you can minimize the amount of time you have to wait for your drinks and make sure that you get prompt, friendly service all night long.
First off, chances are you won’t actually be sitting at the bar, because the seats fill up early and you’ll be off cruising the crowd, anyway. If the bar has a designated area for “walk-up” patrons. . . wait there. Bartenders hate when people don’t follow the rules, and if you’re not where you are supposed to be, you won’t get served. If there is no such area, try to situate yourself somewhere in the bartender’s line-of-sight. This is no time to be shy…you might have to squeeze in between the patrons who are seated at the bar, but everyone loves to make new friends, right? Besides, being the new guy that just walked in, you’re most likely to be checked out by the patrons you’re trying to squeeze in between. Say, “Hello” for crying out loud.
Once you have found a good position, get your money out and ready. The staff at gay bars are used to serving drinks non-stop throughout most evenings, and if you’re not buying a drink, someone else is. The bartenders always seems to go towards the money, so get your cash ready, put it in your hand, and hold it out towards the bartender. You don’t have to be obnoxious or flashy about it – just make sure the bartender knows that you are ready to be served.
When the bartender does come your way, know what you want and be prepared with a “backup drink” in case they don’t have your first choice. A busy night at a gay bar is not the time to be ordering all sorts of fancy cocktails. Order a beer, a glass of wine, a shot, or a liquor drink with one (or at the most two) mixers. For example, Absolut Vodka & Cranberry, a Rum & Coke, or a Black Russian are all acceptable drinks. However, if you order something like a Tropical Cherry Rum Runner Splash with 10 different ingredients, you are bound to get a dirty look from the bartender, and maybe even the other impatient patrons.
After you get your first drink, leave a good cash tip on the bar or hand it to the bartender. Most bartenders, like everyone else, are motivated by money and they know whose money it is that they are taking home at the end of the night. You should tip a minimum of $1 per drink, regardless of how much it cost, and you might consider tipping $2 or $3 for the first drink. I’ve actually 
tipped the bartender $5 for my first drink and the obligatory $1 for every drink thereafter. I’ve got to say, that $5 was a little bit of “insurance”. For the rest of the night, the bartender spotted me as I’d approach the bar and had my drink before I even got to the counter!
Also, at most gay bars, the patrons tend to leave a tip after each drink instead of at the end of the night, unless you have started a tab. Once you have your drink and have left a tip, get out of the way. Other people are waiting and the bartender can’t make money when you are taking up precious bar space.
Finally, if you want to buy someone a drink, order it yourself and walk over and hand it to them. The last thing a busy bartender wants to do is play middle school matchmaker for you and your crush. And, it never hurts to flirt with the bartender. Gay bars are pretty diverse places and you never know who is gay and who is straight, so don’t worry about gender-flash them a smile or call them “cutie” and you just might get better service. In any case, if you’ve followed these simple steps, the bartender should recognize you as a good customer and provide excellent service.
Being on the bartender’s good side isn’t just about getting good service for yourself, either. When you grab the guy you just met by the arm, drag him over to the bar, and get VIP service from the bartender, he’s bound to be at least a little impressed. Plus, having an “in” with the bartender could get you special service, like “one last drink” after Last Call or a call to a cab company when you’ve had one too many. Just like anyplace else, treating the people who work in a gay bar well pays off for you in the end.
